PART 2 !!!

Hi Soldierettes,
 
Here is my part two!

• Independent- Every man and woman needs an independent person, well in the military that is a must. When one is gone the other has to hold the fort down and for that they have to be independent. They have to work, know how to do things that the other would usually do. Know that if something happens (god forbid) you can still move on as before. They need to know that someone is taking care of home while they are gone.
• Dependable- On the other hand being dependable. Being there for each other to hear them out, to do things for them, to help them when needed. It’s simple
• we all sometimes fall, we are not perfect,
• we all need a shoulder from time to time, we all have hearts,
• We all need favors from time to time, we all can’t do everything at once!
• Confidence-I have heard on many talk shows, Television shows, and by speaking to some males that confidence in a woman is sexy. Let’s get on thing straight, they do not mean being cocky and thinking that they are too good for everyone. They mean a woman who knows she is beautiful in every way and doesn't put herself down. They walk with their head held high and owns whatever good or bad they have and still keeps going stopping along the way to speak to everyone equally, never down. One bad thing, we ARE women, again we can have some self-confidence issues at times, it’s not letting those times get to you and to your relationship that shows him he has nothing to worry about. He doesn't care what brand of clothes you wear because your self-confidence makes everything on you amazing. Self-confidence issues can negatively bring the relationship down, the blaming games start and it all goes downhill. Soldiers can help the soldierettes by letting them know what they love about that soldierette. Keeping them assured that they are still noticed not just by looks but by other ways they may know. Hey ladies...this is also vice versa!
• Sense of humor- Women love men who have an amazing sense of humor, realize that I said "sense of humor" not a comedian. Not everything is a joke but making a joke at the right time or having fun with each other by making each other laugh, acting goofy, making stories up and going along with it. Pretending to speak in a different language in public. Laughter helps the heart and a relationship. I mean who doesn't love to laugh and have fun. Imagine that with your significant other. This is so easy to do and it’s a simple way to make that person smile why they are miles and miles away. It’s a form of saying I love you, I miss you or I'm thinking about you. It melts my heart personally.
• Trust- TRUST it’s a powerful word. Everyone knows without it a relationship can fail. I think you can’t trust someone 100% and it may be because of my past experiences in that department but I do think you can trust someone 99% and once you are there its smooth sailing, BUT you have to take care of that trust because once it is taken advantage of it can be really really really hard to get back, for some it’s over. It is also something that is really hard to gain. Couples have to go through a lot to gain their significant others trust, and it can take a lot of time, they have to prove to each other that they have it in them; to be trustworthy. Yes we all get jealous and have some insecurities but it happens to the best of us, that’s when other characteristics come in to remove those insecurities.
• What about relationships where one person is away a lot of the time likes; you guessed it, military relationships. You hear a lot about those "Dear John" letters, they are horrible, but you also hear about soldiers who cheat while they are away because they have needs and they don't think no one back home will find out, they also may not trust their spouse back home. The individual back home cheats because of the void and the lack of the characteristics they need to keep the relationship safe and so does the soldier who is away. This is why TRUST is important because it ties almost all other characteristics in together.
• We also have to have trust in each other’s financials, belongings, pets, secret etc. knowing we can take care of the financial and not taking everything and running with it, knowing while they are gone we will take care of pets and memorabilia, cars. Soldiers have a lot of info that sometimes is relayed back to the significant other and there has to be trust that none if it will be reiterated. Sometimes just plain secrets are given from their personal life; we have to trust in each other that it can be kept that way. We also have to have trust that each person is taking care of themselves and not hurting themselves. Some say trust is the number one Characteristic for a relationship but I say it is my second...crazy I know.. You will see why...
• Supportive- We all have values and goals in life and the best thing for our significant other to do is to understand and support them and us. In military relationships it’s very hard for the soldiers to deal with changes, moves and higher ups putting them down. There is so much that happens and we as soldierette have to keep showing them support that can help them along the way. We also need support from our soldiers. Knowing they understand what we are doing, what we want to do and the reasons why. Support our troops, but support their families too.
• Understanding- Again there are a lot of movements that happen in the military world and it not only involves the soldier but it involves everyone around him especially us, the soldierettes. We have to understand from day one how the life is going to work. We have to be understanding about things that in a normal relationship we may not have to worry about.
• We can’t hear from our soldier on a daily basis-understood
• We can’t see our soldier for days, weeks, months-understood
• We can’t be at family functions/gatherings with our soldier all the time-understood
• We can’t have sexy time with our soldier for days, weeks, months-understood
• We can’t make definite plans because you just don't know what may happen-understood
• We can’t know everything that happens in his line of work-understood
• We can’t get mad if he’s not being sweet/nice/cuddly/romantic because he’s stressed out-understood
• We can’t be upset that he doesn't open up much while he is gone-understood
• We can’t fight about all the little things all the time especially while he is gone-understood
• We have to understand that sometimes he may have to leave for another 3 months-understood
• We have to understand that he is doing this for OUR COUNTRY-understood
• We have to understand that this ISNT a normal relationship-understood
• We have to understand that he may be a long for a while but understand that he is still there and that he needs us more now than ever-understood.
• We have to understand that this is tough for soldiers, it isn't easy for them and we have to understand how to deal with it with him and for ourselves-understood
• I can go on and on...

Soldiers also have to think about us and understand us as well. Just because we are home doesn't mean it is easy for us. They have to understand what it takes for a soldierette to stay by his side. The strength it takes, the love it takes. They have to understand that we hurt to especially when they hurt. Be understanding about the things that you can understand, don't be understanding about the things you don't, ask questions help each other understand these  situation in questions.

·         Respectful- R-E-S-P-E-C-T is my number one characteristics in all types of relationships. Why? Well because if you don't have respect for someone then it is so easy to let that person down, it is easy to give up, to not have faith, to cheat, not be faithful, and so much more. To have respect for someone is to value all characteristics especially in a relationship. Everyone has their own order like some may say trust is number one on their list but if you don't have respect you truly don't have trust. You trust someone because you respect them. I feel as if once the respect is gone other characteristics go along with it if not all of them. Think about what respect means to you?...Think about what respect means to a soldier!

• Romantic- Be romantic, keep the romance alive. It means a lot more when our significant other is miles and miles away from us. The simplest things can melt our hearts and show so much, especially while we are apart. Still keep the sexiness in the relationship. Keep the chemistry going in ways you can think of.
• Etc.. Im sure there are more and once I think of them I will announce them.

I want to clarify that these are characteristics that I, my own head and heart thought of.  This is what I think is necessary for a military relationship to work. I'm sure it goes with normal relationships but I strongly feel that certain ones are much more important in our situations. I came up with these and everyone has their own opinion. I did this to help my soldierette out there understand what it is to be in a military relationship. I'm sure there are more but I have been working on this for weeks on and off and I just want to post this already!! I hope you all enjoyed this and please leave me messages or let me know what you think, how you feel.

 

Thank you, Sincerely

Melissa The Soldierette.