Its been a while but there is a void.

Hello my soldierettes,

 I have been so busy but decided to take a break. I was making myself ill. Through this time I have been experiencing the absence of my soldier. I told him this is a test for us and our relationship. I miss him like crazy but I still live my life. I keep myself busy, best way to deal with the void.

I wonder if he understands that I miss and I love him so much and I tell him over and over not because I am not being strong but because Its real and I feel it more than other days.
There is a difference between going to work all day and missing your significant other then going home to see him/her. When they are gone for a long time you think of all the small things that are taken for granted when you see each other every day.

• You start to miss the times when your in bed and he takes the all the covers, or
• when he takes over the control and wants to watch Family guy all night, or
• even not putting the toilet seat back down.

We miss this because this is him, who he is and he is not around. Now thinking back at the times he did these things we laugh!

 This is why I think military relationships can work if you truly understand them well. And to do that you have to make mistakes to learn from them, you have to go through some hard times to get to the easy ones. Don't give up so easily. Being able to get through the mistakes and the hard times is what will help you grow stronger as a couple. The thing here is that many soldiers don't have time to deal with working through the mistakes and the hard times because they are focused on what they are doing and don't need anything to bring them down. Understood. So it makes working on the relationship a bit tougher but if it gets done you know your relationship can handle it, don't give up as a soldierette.

Understand that they are out of their element, that is enough to make them feel uncomfortable and uneasy. We as soldierettes still live our lives as we would normally, in our own home where we can do what we normally do. They then have the stress of their duties and strict schedules.

He told me "you said you where going to be strong and im not seeing any of that," its harder than I thought especially when my soldier seems a lot more distant. He has been gone before and it was different. I feel the distance but yet he needs to understand that I still need some reassurance, I still want to feel like im in a relationship. He acted weird for a while did not know what to think of it. He asked me to google how soldiers deal with being away from family. I didn't. This has to do with me and him not every other soldier. You are your own person with your own feelings and thoughts and issues. As a couple you are your own way as well. We all deal with issues our own way.

Maybe it is a good idea to talk about things before they leave as to what is expected and how to be able to work things out. I was mad and upset I thought he would rather me  call him and tell him I miss him daily and want to talk to him as much as I can, than go out and be out and drink and party and not give a care as to what he is doing? Im confused. here I am making it obvious to him that I care and love him and miss him and im waiting for him but he distances himself from me while hes away why? We are suppose to do the opposite. It was tough for him to think of me as a failure but I had to think of his situation and not give up still show him that I can do it but I also need his help to show me he can also do this.

We as soldierettes are also built to be strong but along the building process we still need reassurance that our soldiers notice that and can give us some lovin'! After all we are women :)

Melissa the Soldierette